Iver Heath Sports Association Cricket Club

Scoring Charts

Reproduced below you'll find a selection of scoring charts in a Bill Frindall stylee for some of the players in the team.  Excellent news if you're the opposition skipper.....

Dave Williams

Dave has been known to make grown men cry with his batting.  Batting at number 7, he tends to come in just as the first change bowlers are starting to get a bit tired after toiling in the hot summer sun.

To this point, their figures are fairly presentable and their averages look in tact.

Within 5 minutes they are gibbering wrecks crying out for their mothers whilst their team mates are hunting through bramble bushes looking for the ball...again.

Has hit the biggest six I've ever seen (approx 70 yard boundary over a 50 foot tree and it was still going up) and the flattest (probably a sixty yard boundary and didn't get more than three feet off the ground much to the amusement of our players but not to the umpire).

Colin Terry

It's probably not a good idea to mock the captain but what the Hell....fine leg isn't such a bad place to field...

Colin has made the cut shot something of an art form. I've watched cricket for many years but have not seen so many variants of the cut shot before :

cutting outside off stump (acceptable0
cutting off middle stump (dangerous)
cutting off leg stump(hardy)
cutting outside leg stump(miraculous)
giving the bowler the charge...and cutting

I'd imagine that after reading this he'll probably be performing another cut.....my name from the team list.

Ho hum.

Richard Clare

With every action there is an equal and opposite reaction.  And so it is the case in Iver Heath Cricket Club...

"Rocky" was born with a terrible affliction which has left both of his arms locked in a rigid position at the elbow when batting and this means that his only scoring shot is the leg side pull.

He has overcome this medical condition (known as Subbuteo Goalkeeper Syndrome) and has patented a new swimming stroke using this method that involves a lot of splashing around and a tell-tale orange trail behind him....

Doug Vigar

Errmmm....he played a lot of golf in his youth.   What else can I say ?

The Hatch End skipper once famously moved the field after Doug's first shot of his innings proclaiming "he's only got the one shot".   Sure enough the very next delivery saw Doug hit the ball directly at the remaining nine outfield players who were all in a huddle at mid off.

Doug is also the current holder of "Most Aggressive Return to the Pavillion" award (previously held by myself and the skipper) after a particular dismissal at home last season that would even have had Joe Pesci reaching for his "Most Gratuitous Use Of The Word Fuck" handbook.....